7.23.2012

Its 415am and I find myself struggling to fall back asleep. My thoughts feel like water torture, slowly drip, drip, dripping into my conscience.

The long travel ahead to the states, how hard will it be being so close but still so far from my family?

drip

I need to do more, to continue to push myself. Give more, find more time in the day, do as much as I can but how will I make it all work? I know I can put more on my proverbial plate, but it has to be distributed in just the right way so it doesn't come crashing down out of my hands.

drip

Is that newborn baby, born just on Saturday morning in the slum itself, doing okay? What about the mother?

drip


Will there be cockroaches in the kitchen if I go out to get water right now? What about a huge spider in the bathroom? A hornet in the dining room? Ants in the pantry? Why are there so many bugs?

drip


What is that rash on my little friend Sima's head?

drip

How is that little surgical patient from last week that was far too wise for his four year old self? And the older man from two weeks back whose wife also had surgery? I didn't see them in follow-up, I hope they are okay.

drip

When will I see my family again?

drip

How long will I live in India? Work at the surgical center? Work with the slum and street kids? How will I ever leave?

drip

Education

drip

Rehabilitation

drip

Malnutrition

drip

Child rights

drip

Street kids days

drip

NGO registration

drip

Teenage pregnancy

drip

Child trafficking

drip

Intervention

drip

Empowerment

drip

Friendship

drip

Love

drip

Change

drip

Push harder. You have to push harder.

drip

Each drop contributes to the waves of restlessness that toss and turn me in my bed. Feeling a little beaten upon the shore this morning but luckily these nights are few and far between. I know I am not alone in these 4am battles, what drips into your mind late at night? How do you combat it?

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